I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
bring money and cleavage
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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