Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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