He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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