he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize