I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
