And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
A bitchslap is in order.
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