you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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