I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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