His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
