i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
