It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
