It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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