i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
