these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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