frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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