Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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