It's like God shit irony all over that family
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
