I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
