Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
