Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
