It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
