she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
