i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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