Sponge bath it is.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize