i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
