Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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