Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My ass is underappreciated
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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