before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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