So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
