Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
