i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
