I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
