she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
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our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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