Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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