I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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