PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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