i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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