Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
