Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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