it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
