Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
