I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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