ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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