My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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