yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
