your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
