There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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