Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
