i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
