He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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