If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
where am i from again
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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