physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
