super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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