lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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