hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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