dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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