the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
