im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
