I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
