Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
