I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
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I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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