some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
