She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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