She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize
