Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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