sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
