Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
