4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just blew my weed a kiss
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
