i permit you to call me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
