something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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